There is no college degree or formal workshop for Parenting, yet it’s the foundation of SUCCESS for every Professional or Performer in our society. Parenting is the art and science, of nurturing the best citizens for a country and also the best contributor in a company … beyond the beautiful relationship of the parent and the child. A parent can be the best MENTOR -COACH-FACILITATOR celebrating success together or a dictator who soon gets distant from the child’s journey.
If you decide to be a parent…do your research to prepare yourself for this beautiful journey. Recently, when I interviewed one of our mentors specializing in teaching children (Rina Mitra interview shared above…) realized parenting is a natural skill, yet needs to be navigated well to ensure the best outcomes. Thereafter, when I was asked to give a talk on ‘Parenting’ at a social welfare impact platform; realized it’s something that we as a society want to demystify.
Though we are all endowed with natural skills, it is critical we also understand some of the important nuances to strengthen this natural skill. Psychology and research findings say that the first five formative years of a child are very crucial and determine the personality of the child. Thus how a parent maneuvers this phase for the establishment of self-esteem, self-confidence, self-reliance, social interaction, relationship management determines the long-term interactions and engagements of an individual in the canvas of our society.
It’s high time we groom ourselves to be the BEST Mentors as parents … Let us join our hearts and heads to understand them. Understanding gen Z is a critical process in getting started.
Some quick behaviors that can support our mentorship and coaching as a parent.
- Start by accepting the natural abilities and knacks of the child
- Make Education fun -friendly and empowering rather than forceful -discriminating
- Make your gifts in adding meaning to their perspective rather than to their possessions
- Be The Best Cheerleader -Coach -Collaborator rather than a COMMANDER- Dictator who Decides everything and Instructs…
- Facilitate and not force
- Research -Reward -Rendezvous together
1. Start by accepting the natural abilities and talents of the child
Every child is gifted with some talent. Identify your child’s talent. Don’t expect your child to understand you! When you can empathize with your child’s needs you soon build a bond that lasts beyond your years on earth.
Your ability to encourage and empower your child’s interest will go a long way in establishing your child’s becoming a confident individual. Support the child to develop their voice and thought, rather than imposing yours.
2. Make Education fun -friendly and empowering rather than forceful -discriminating
Education in our modern society is a way to creating discrimination by marks -grades, etc. As per Howard Gardiner’s Theory of intelligence, every child is intelligent. Do not compare your child with anyone because no two individual in this world is born with the same mind, same opinion, same tastes, etc. Every child is unique though they may be identical twins. Education should be a friendly- fun process of learning to create a life of passion -purpose and effortless performance.
3.Make your gifts in adding meaning to their perspective rather than to their possessions
A child would benefit more from your dialogue in building a perspective rather than you creating some possessions you grant them.
What your child can do? What your child can be? What does your child like? What are your child’s strengths? What is your child’s dream? If you can think beyond your command, that is going to be your biggest success. A safe dialogue can enable the child to build trust in you, to share the inner questions -turmoils and challenges…Also for them to dare to be themselves rather than comply and toe your line of control.
4. Be The Best Cheerleader -Coach -Collaborator rather than a COMMANDER- Dictator who Decides everything and Instructs…
If you can become the best cheerleader -coach -collaborator to your child, then the scope of running away from you is not needed. As a cheerleader, you can be encouraging every time they do something nice; as a coach you support by showing them the mirror, and as a collaborator you are supporting their dream – vision -mission in their life, sometimes by moving away from their path.
5. Facilitate as a role model rather than force as a superior
Do not forget that the child’s first school is the parent’s canvas and the first role model is what the parent practices rather than preaches. Force as superior doesn’t command respect but remorse…thus the better role model you become of behaviors that you want to witness… the better your chances to experience them in the future.
6. Research -Reward -Rendezvous together
When your child comes up with new theories and practices of life, it’s worth researching to understand the merits and demerits of the same rather than ruling them out. If there is something good applaud and reward together. Finally, you can always rendezvous situations -people or practices together to judge their importance in life…Rather than a solo decision, it’s always advantageous to journey together.
As Khalil Gibran says, “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their thoughts and life.”
What is your experience as a parent? How often do you feel that your child’s academic performance is what judges their intelligence and capability? As a parent what do you feel you can do differently to enhance the citizens and professionals of tomorrow…
drsonaliduttabaanerjee 