Partnership| Shared Leadership & Mutual Trust & Respect|

Recently when we completed 29 years of our journey together as a couple; I was astounded by how eventful the journey has been. Totally from different backgrounds when we started our journey, I was a student who just wanted to live a romantic Mills & Boon life!! However gradually with all the push, carving and inspiration I realised that I had a great. environment to balance a life of family and a professional journey!

Marriage like partnership or team game, is a project for equals and the moment there is imbalance in the sense of being equals…there are conflicts and concerns. Thus maintaining a sense of shared leadership, mutual trust and respect is what makes the journey worthy. The moment one of the team members tries to over power the other, the relationship can get vulnerable to misunderstanding and dissatisfaction. The ability to reach the status of being equal is fundamental need of a sustained relationship. We are all powerful in our own ways and ability to share the stage and leadership with another, is a way to appreciate the powers of others.

Marriage, we learned is an institution with unlimited variables, that cannot simply be formulated into a software application. A successful marriage requires a mix of Compatibility, Chemistry, Commitment, Community, Communication and Compassion. We see our relationship as the centre forward and striker, where we take turns or comply with situations when it comes to creation and scoring the goals!!!

In our 29 years of journey, our biggest learnings have been the following:

1. Ignore shortcomings and highlight the talents -To work on any relationship in the long term, specially where you see your team. members day. and night; its important to see the best in. them to survive all challenges -anger or unbearable behavioural traits.
2. Unconditional support, respect and trust -Any relationship where you need to think about respect. and trust is not worth being in. This is a critical aspect for being partners in a team.
3. Celebrating simple joys and milestones– Ability to appreciate small milestones is a way. to celebrate a long lasting relationship.
4. Aligning to joint decision making -Deciding on things together is another way of sharing the leadership. The moment decision making is one sided in a partnership, the other person feels like an outsider…thus the best way to progress is to allow POV of the team before the final decision. In fact now even children have a say in how things could be done better.
5. Doing things together -This could be complex projects or even sports or even a simple walk. Conversing -Cooking -Cleaning or even day dreaming together can be a great way to bond and find each others inner peace.
6. Encouraging or being the cheerleader -Encouraging each other in their respective passion -dreams or goals builds long term confidence and faith in each other. We learn to walk with our parents, run with our friends, and finally we learn to reach for our dreams and life goals with our spouse.

Finding a friend -well-wisher -cheerleader -partner -team member in your spouse is blissful. Interestingly, even in our work-life we need some of these attributes to make successful team members, whether our peers -supervisors or team members we need to build trust -respect and have a shared leadership approach to achieve our true potential.

To know more on how you can build great relationship with your spouse, do explore the following reads:

Building Teamwork in your marriage

Power of understanding people