Every day in our life our judgment precedes our ability to empathize. We alienate ourselves from people as soon as we start judging. This most often creates a vicious cycle. To be able to leverage the best from others the fundamental law is to Suspend Judgement. This is especially true for coaches and leaders, as they are intensely involved in people’s practice.
Whilst facilitating a recent coaching workshop one of the core topics addressed was suspending our judgment. As we discussed the topic, at first there was some hesitancy about what we meant by it, but eventually settled on the tendency to make judgments about what we are hearing as we hear it. Our belief system is a byproduct of our information and treatment over our lifetime. We pride our abilities to look through a lens that is a gift from our ecosystem, and not necessarily our own. We constantly look at conformity and acceptance, we also apply that in viewing others rather than appreciating how they are different. This has an impact on our communication -perceptions and also our lifestyle.
Critical thinking yields the best results when you approach something with an open mind. … It is also important to suspend judgment when undertaking analysis so that we will not implicitly signal to our audience that our mind is already made up concerning the issue or object at hand.
Curiosity is underplayed if we engage in the practice of judgment. Any dialogue for growth, journey to a solution, or even investigations can be better handled if we suspend judgment. It’s a foundational need for the creative process.
We live in a boxed world where we want to categorize and box everything that we see around us, however, the fact is existence is dynamic and can never be declared with a single facet there is more to everything that exists around us.
As a leader and coach inculcating a habit of active listening is less prioritized. In communication, we often prioritize speaking rather than listening as we want to prove worth with our words! However Active listening means suspending that judgment until you are sure that you have understood exactly what someone is saying, through questioning, probing, checking, and summarising – it requires an open mind. As a listener and a leader, we should be open to new ideas, new perspectives, and new possibilities. Even when good listeners have strong views, they should suspend judgment, hold back on any criticisms, and be curious to know more.
6 Ways to Develop the habit of choosing to suspend judgment, to stay curious, and facilitate an environment of creativity:
- Stay Curious with an Inquiry Mindset -Every time you are in a meeting, coaching session, or even in an evaluation process hear out what others are sharing rather than be in a hurry to declare your authority and knowledge in the same.
- Empathize with the Situation or the Person -Unless you are the judge in a court, practice empathy above quick slotting into boxes.
- Engage in regular workshops to unravel rather than in escalations -During situations of escalation or fire fighting we don’t have the luxury of long dialogues of transformation; thus practice of suspending judgment needs to be developed in a more peaceful environment of training and preparation.
- Learning is the only constant -Too many adults lose their childlike curiosity to learn everything around them. With our obsessive involvements in work, family, sports, video games, and other commitments we un-learn our natural inclination to learn, which makes us worse at having conversations with folks who see the world differently. Learning is not static and location-specific every moment we have the potential to engage in learning. People with a strong ability to learn are not only great at dialogue, but they are also going to relevant community leaders.
- Meaningful Dialogue -Meaningful dialogue is an elusive thing in our communities. Often our living room conversations of improving our politicians and country have no outcomes as we don’t play a role in the same. Dialogue has great potential, thus prioritizing ones where you could create an impact can be the first step towards legacy.
- Respecting others’POV -Most often we are too attached to our own POV, so much so that we invade others’ right to have their own. Imposing our views as the best rather than investing time in understanding others is something less prioritized.
How often are you practicing ‘Suspension of Judgement? Can think of any instance where you have lost an opportunity or an advantage because of your judgment of others? Do share with us your thoughts and how you feel when you try suspending judgment.
Learn More about Suspending Judgement from following research papers:
drsonaliduttabaanerjee 
Yes Sonali…My views are congruent to yours.
Being judgemental, self-opiniated, and having an embedded mind are all features of an ‘ailment’ called ‘insensitivity’. I am reminded of a quote of an eminent jurist : Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes [who was the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of USA, several decades ago] …”It behooves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself to resist invasions of it in the case of others.”
LikeLiked by 1 person